Is this ok?

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:24-25

I had a meeting today, with a Brother from the college i graduated from. It was to discuss my baptism. The car ride from there to work with my husband consisted of babies and getting ore marriage blessed since we were not marrid in a church. I would not care either way but it bothers me that he does not want to marry me in a church when he is Roman Catholic. This is a part of thier religion, and he sat there and told my old profesor that his family dosent realy approve of our marriage if its not in a church. Later i find ot that this is not true he jsut said that to make the father feel better about us not being married in the church. So then the concersation twisted into how his sister is pregant and yes this is the other one... So my blog i wrote yesterday said that one is trying well guess what she doesnt even have to try she already is!! I am getting baptized for me i want to but there are other reasons and among them i am wondering, is it ok to want to get baptized becasue you want to marry in a church and is it ok that i want o get baptized so that i feel as though i have a better chance of bcoming pregnant. I do belive in god, and i do want this, but are those two reasons ok?
Is it ok that i have after a long life well i am only 24 but still, my whole life i have not practiced religion and now becasue there are things in my life that i want and believe that baptism would help me get them?
I never have been a religous person and this is why i feel like this.

On a somewht different subject
Is it ok that i have increible hate and jelousy towards everyone around me that is pregnant. No i dont think it is ok, and why? My husband and i have not been trying. We have been having unprotected sex for two years with no contrceptive and so this is the root of my sadness. It still is not ok to feel this way, and it consumes my life, i am miserable at work, i am miserable at home and everywhere i go and this is not fair to me my husband or others that are surrounding me. How can i feel better.
How is it ok when i think of my self as a positive optmistic person that i am acting this way, how is it that something like this can make me feel this way?

As soon as my husband told me that his sister is pregnant elaphant tears came streaming down my face and the words "thats not fair" came out of my mouth. Why of course its fair, what happens happens.

I have always thought that your life has been written out for you. Your whole life, with chapters and epilogues and all that book stuff! If i believe in this as our fate than why does it make me so mad and jeolus and angry and frustrated and sick and sad to see and hear and live in a world where a women who has OPCS, one ovary, and a man that has a low sperm count gets prgant before i do.

Heres a little side not

It is ok if Melissa gets pregnant before i and i promis all my emotions stated above will be deep inside and will not come out!! haha luv ya and thank you for your support,
thats a whole new blog on how, all this crap wouldnt ever be possible to go through without the support of friends