Brain, Brain, Go away, Come back another day.

So my hubby is home and things are better than i ever expected them to be. Cheers for that. He is not in a bad mood as i assumed. He is loving me and giving me random kisses and hugs, hmm like he actually missed me or something. Well So everything is hunky dory.

NO, not exactly.

So we are officially trying to have a child now, I should be excited and full of joy. I thought i wouls change for the better becasue we are actually trying, that i would take things lighter, and easier. The truth, still everytime i see a pregnant woman or hear about babies or hear a baby i get this empty feeling inside me. Why is it this way for me. I have not technically been ecen trying and so technically i have not had any problems. I have this overwhelming intuition that something is not going to work right.

The reason i write this blog is that it makes me feel SOOO much better to vent, so this morning DH is on the phone (haha i used DH although all my followeres know who he is haha). Anyway, he is on the phone with someone and after he gets off i asked who it was, he replies an old friend. He then continues to say that this guys mother is going to have three granchildren in one week. AWESOME FOR HER. He THEN decides to tell me, not that i got mad or anything in front of him but his ex-girlfriend is pregnant for the third time. AWESOME. So happy for her. Actually my true feelings are as follows;

FUCK EVERYONE WHO IS PREGNANT AND I HOPE THEY DIE.


Maybe a little harsh but you know what that is how i feel and if i hold it in they may get stronger, so brain brain go away come again another day. PLEEEASE


I do not want to feel like a psycho raging murderer anymore.